


working it out

by MissLii



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Liam, Consensual Kink, D/s, Friends to Lovers, Kink Discovery, Kneeling, Lack of Communication, M/M, Spanking, Stupidity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-23
Updated: 2015-04-23
Packaged: 2018-03-25 07:19:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3801634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissLii/pseuds/MissLii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It quickly becomes a part of their routine. Something they do when they are alone. Liam loses grip of how often it happens, but he doesn't ask Louis for it any longer.</p><p>He doesn't need to; Louis has started to keep track of him, putting him down on his knees, whenever he thinks Liam needs it. Sometimes he continues on with whatever he is doing after Liam is sitting by his feet, no matter if he is eating or writing, but he never ignores Liam completely. He's always talking to him or touching him; it makes him feel grounded, and calm.</p><p>Liam likes it more when he doesn't have to ask. When Louis gently pushes him down on the floor when they are alone, his hands are never leaving Liam when he sits by Louis' feet.<br/> <br/><em>Or: A love story about Liam wanting to be on his knees for Louis.</em><br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	working it out

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shinywhimsy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinywhimsy/gifts).



> This is a re-post from November. It was up one day, then I deleted it - and was about to delete all my fics, thinking that it sucked, that everything I've ever written sucked. I'm an insecure pumpkin, apparently. (I've been regretting it since then, so I thought I should put it up again. Only re-written, and with lots of more porn). This was, of course, written long before Zayn left 1D, but it's pretty much an AU, even when it's band-fic.  
> Shinywhimsy, I don't know if you remember, but this was for you back then. So it felt wrong not to 'gift' this to you now. You don't _have_ to read this if you don't feel like it. I understand if you don't!"
> 
> Disclaimer: standard disclaimer. I don't own 1D, never have, never will be.

Liam should help Louis out. He should be working on writing new songs, the two of them did so before Liam became too distracted. It feels like there is too much energy in his body to for him to sit still, and _definitely_ too much to get any work done.

 

Well, Louis still does. It's just Liam who's _not_.

 

Louis sits on the sofa, surrounded by papers and stuff, and is still trying to work on some melodies. Liam feels like he's pretty useless at the moment, like he's no help at all. Liam likes to be there for Louis, likes to make him smile that pleased little smile when Liam comes up with something good. But Liam can't sit still or concentrate, no matter how hard he tries. Louis patience with him is starting to run out, he knows it is. He can tell Louis is irritated the way he's pacing all over the room, unable to stop acting like a child that has had too much sugar.

 

Louis likes to play around with him, but right now they're on a schedule and needs to get work done. It's not the time for games.

 

Liam can't stop himself, even then.

 

Louis has not even been home for little more than a week, and his flat already looks rubbish, Liam thinks. Just to have something to do with his his hand, he attempts to clean up the mess spread all over Louis' flat, but mostly he just moves things around, and makes no real real progress in making it look any nicer than before.

 

“Fuck's sake, Liam. Sit down,” Louis snipes. “Even if you don't feel like doing any work, you don't have to bother me when you don't. We need to get this done today, you know that.”

 

Liam comes to a sudden stop, and his heart stutters in his chest. Louis looks more or less like he considers telling Liam to leave him alone, so he can get some work done in peace and quiet. Liam doesn't like the thought of that.

 

Liam worries that Louis might not want to write with him anymore, and just thinking about it makes his stomach hurt.They are partners, and they do their best work together. He doesn't know what to do if Louis doesn't want to continue with him.

 

“Maybe I should go for a run? Like, I have this restlessness in my body. Can't get anything done.” Liam doesn't mean for it to come out as a question, but he needs confirmation for his actions.

 

He doesn't know _why_ , but it feels important to him that Louis is okay with him doing so.

 

“You will go into the kitchen, and make me a sandwich. Then you're going to sit down, and be bloody quiet if you're not going to help me,” Louis answers. It's obviously from his tone that he does not think Liam's idea is a good one.

 

If Louis says so, and if it will make him look less like he doesn't want Liam there, then Liam will make Louis a sandwich.

 

Also, it's not unusual for Louis to boss him around. Liam is good at doing what people say, and Louis likes telling people what to do. That and the fact that they are still rather much alike makes them fit so well together, Liam thinks.

 

In the kitchen, he manages to find what he needs to make something for Louis to eat. Not hungry himself, Liam feels like he is a bit as a maid to Louis at the moment. Funny thing, considering what a slob he can be himself. But he has always liked looking after those he cares about, it makes him feel needed. Liam likes that; it's a nice feeling.

 

There is an itch under his skin, one he seems unable to get rid of these days. Doing something with his hands makes him feel a bit calmer. Even if it's just it making some lunch for Louis, it helps. When Liam thinks about it, Louis bossing him around doesn't bother him that much. He feels a bit unsettled about it, _shouldn't he feel annoyed about Louis telling him what to do?_ He might even feel a bit _good_ by Louis pushing him into doing things for him and correcting Liam when he does the wrong thing.

 

It is nice to be looked after, even when Louis is a bit stroppy about it.

 

As Liam comes back to the living room, with the food Louis asked for, he gets a bit confused about where to sit. There are things all over the place, clothes thrown everywhere. Liam honestly didn't do a good job with his attempt to clean up; Louis' home really is a mess – something Liam shouldn't be bothered about considering the state of his own flat.

 

Also, the sofa where Louis sits is covered with papers, with words and things that hopefully can be worked into new songs. Liam doesn't want to bother Louis by asking him to sort it out. Because even if Liam didn’t get anything done before, Louis is still sitting totally concentrated on the couch, humming along to whatever song he works on.

 

He stands there for a moment, staring at the sofa with a frown on his face. Then he starts to feel weird about it; he can't stand with a sandwich in his hand and watch Louis work. Without him noticing Liam just standing there, watching him.

 

“Lou, I've got your sandwich. But where should I sit? You wanted me to sit, and I can't see anywhere I can?”

 

As Louis lifts his head, he has a puzzled look in his eyes, as if he'd forgotten Liam was there. He shakes his head and looks around, seemingly confused about all crap thrown everywhere. “Thanks,” he eventually says. “And, er, maybe you can just sit by me on the floor. You can rest your back against the sofa if you want to? You can help me get this thing right if you want to.”

 

“Yeah, okay. But maybe you should think about cleaning instead of making your guests sit on the floor, Lou,” Liam teases, knowing he has no leg to stand on when it comes to being messy. No matter what he tries to make people think of him.

 

“Don't be silly, Liam. You're not a guest here,” Louis says.

 

Liam's chest feels warm with fondness, thinking about how far he and Louis have come. The two of them didn't get along at all in the beginning, and now they almost live in each others pockets. It sometimes feels like they are in each others heads all the time, too.

 

Sitting down on the soft carpet, he instinctively puts himself by Louis' feet. Then, almost at once, he feels a bit weird about it; he can't rest against the sofa like Louis told him to, sitting like that.

 

Still, he doesn’t move.

 

“What are you doing, love?” Louis sounds confused, looking down at Liam where he is trying to get comfortable by his feet. “You can always rest against me. That doesn't look very nice.”

 

 _Well_ , he is right but Liam doesn't want to move now. He finally found a way to sit, on his knees and with his head tilted upwards, so he can look up a Louis. It feels right to be there, so Liam just shrugs and waits for Louis to tell him what he's working on, what it was that he wanted Liam's help with.

 

After a little while, he starts to get tired. Louis' voice is calming somehow, even though Liam isn't actually listening to him. At least, not to what he says; he can hear Louis¨' voice and the words, but it's like nothing he says matter. Not when Liam can sit there, feeling Louis' voice wash over him. It makes him feel soft inside, and well looked after.

 

He can feel his limbs becoming loose, and he does what Louis told him earlier and rest his head against Louis' knee. His body feels too soft and his head too heavy for him to do anything else. Liam is so tired. The tour has been rough on him. His whole life is a big mess after his latest breakup, it feels like, no matter how good friends the two of them still are.

 

It has been hard for him. Liam hates to be alone.

 

“You're so good now, babe. Quiet like you should be,” Louis says soothingly, as his hand moves into Liam's hair, scratching his scalp lightly with short nails.

 

Liam hums, his whole body feels soft and calm. His head is empty from loud thoughts, something that hasn't happened in weeks. Liam's head is never quiet, he's always thinking too much about being good. About what people think of him, what he should do, what he should say. His mind is _never_ this quiet.

 

Somehow, he knows he should be uncomfortable on his knees. But his mind doesn't focus on that; all Liam can think about is Louis' hand in his hair. His soft voice, sometimes talking about music and sometimes praising Liam for being good and not bothering him.

 

“Liam, do you feel okay?” Louis asks suddenly.

 

Liam nods, head heavy on his shoulders. He doesn't like the worried look on Louis' face. Liam feels _fine_. He has no idea what he is doing to make Louis look that way, but he doesn't like it.

 

“You look tired, Liam. Want to sleep some maybe? I don't think you should drive home. You look kind of rough,” Louis tells him, still threading his fingers through Liam's hair.

 

“Sure,” he mumbles, knowing Louis probably is right. He tries to will his limbs to work, if he's going to sleep in Louis' guest room he has to stand first. He has no idea of how long he has been on the floor, but it must be a while, his limbs being as difficult as they are.

 

Louis is suddenly there, hunched down beside him on the floor. “Come on, mate. Let us get you to bed, cuddle for a bit.”

 

– – –

 

A few days later they are all back together in the studio, as they are supposed to lay down some tracks. Everything is as usual; they joke around and rough-house more than they probably should. But they always get the work done in the end, so nobody cares that much anymore.

 

Louis doesn't mention the fact that Liam spent god knows how long on Louis' floor.

 

It's confusing that Louis doesn't joke or play around; Liam was on his knees for him after all. Thinking back, Liam can't help blushing, his cheeks heating up involuntary. It wasn't about sex, but it would be so easy for Louis to make it into a dirty joke.

 

Liam is not sure what to think about what happened at Louis' flat. It feels weird to think about what he did. It can't be totally right to feel good about sitting by your mate's feet, not doing anything.

 

But it was good afterwards, even after he had left Louis' bed and gone home, he'd felt _better_. The restlessness in his body hadn't disappeared, not totally, but he had been calmer. At least for a while. Now, Liam feels as hyped up as he had been before, and he's not sure what to do about it.

 

Louis doesn't seem to think it's a thing worth mentioning or even thinking about. So maybe Liam also should try to stop thinking about it. It was _weird_ and won't happen again – it can't be worth all the energy Liam spends thinking about it. He has no idea what to say anyway, so it might as well be best if Louis doesn't bring it up.

 

“Liam, _stop_ that,” Louis says with a sharp voice. A shocked look appears on his face, one matching what Liam feels about his outburst. Louis telling him off for being an idiot doesn't happen all that often, which might be because they most often cause mischief together, the two of them.

 

This time, it had been Liam all by himself, however. But he wasn't bothering Louis, so why Louis would tell him to stop, Liam has no idea.

 

If _anyone_ it should be Harry telling him off. After all, it's his hair Liam tries to put pens in, by throwing them at him.

 

“Yeah, stop that,” Harry agrees, belatedly. “Bother someone else. Someone else like Louis.”

 

But Liam can't. Not when Louis was looking a bit frazzled and lost. Instead, he tries to pull himself together. After all, they are there to work.

 

– – –

 

It might not have been the best idea to go out a have few drinks. He'd been so _stupid_ thinking no one would know about him doing so. So, here he is again, getting photographed by persistent paparazzi, when he should be at home in his bed sleeping. They have an interview tomorrow morning, and for some reason _some_ people don't like him going out on nights before. It's probably not good for his image to be hungover during interviews.

 

But he didn't want to sit at home, alone, watching telly and doing nothing. Liam had no other choice than this, not really.

 

– – –

 

Harry and Niall just laugh at him when he arrives, dragging his feet after himself. Zayn is his usual caring self and gives Liam a soft hug, whispering in Liam's ear _what an idiot he is._

 

Louis' behavior is so confusing, he doesn’t react his usual way. By being as loud and obnoxious as possible, to make sure to – _lovingly_ – annoy Liam as much as he can. Instead, Louis bundles him into a warm hug.

 

“You should take care of yourself better, Liam,” Louis says, lips pressed against Liam's cheek.

 

 _Why is Louis acting so weird around him suddenly?_ Liam doesn't understand him, like he should do.Liam had thought they were okay after the incident as he has started to call the time he'd been on his knees for Louis.“Are you taking the piss, Lou?”

 

“No, why should I do that?” Louis asks, and Liam can see Niall giving him a look from across the room.

 

They all know that Louis can, and will be, a little shit most of the time. It's not that he doesn't care. He does; he might be one of the most loving persons Liam has ever met. Only, he shows his love in unusual ways; by doing things like putting shaving cream in your shoes or telling you that you smell. It's his way, and they are all used to it by now.

 

This nice, _soft_ behaviour makes Liam feel unsettled.

 

“Yeah, why would you do that? Maybe because you enjoy being a right fuck. Like Liam also does,” Niall says, giving voice to Liam's thoughts. At that, Louis lets go of Liam, taking off after a cackling Niall, who races down the corridor.

 

They leave Liam with thoughts whirling through his head. _Maybe he must talk to Louis?_ They've been off, things have been strange between them.

 

“Hey, you okay?” Zayn comes up to hug Liam from behind, putting his chin on Liam's shoulder. As always he can read Liam, like nobody else. Well, Louis might also be as good at it nowadays, but he and Zayn have always had something special, being able to tell at once if something is off when it comes to the other one.

 

“Yeah, I think so? Like, I just need to sleep some,” Liam says. He’s not sure he wants to talk to Zayn, even, about what's going on in his head.

 

He really has no idea what to say. How can he, when he doesn’t even know what to think.

 

– – –

 

Considering his options, he decides he might as well ask Louis if they can try doing _it_ again. The worst thing that can happen must be Louis thinking he's strange and say no. After Louis didn't tell the boys about the last time, he is sure that he at least will keep it to himself. Even if he says no to Liam.

 

Liam is pretty sure he will say no anyway. _Why would he say yes to letting Liam kneel for him again?_

 

Liam has no idea how to ask, but he knows he needs to get himself to do it. It's either that or continue wondering if it was just a coincidence, how he felt afterwards.

 

The two of them are at Louis' place again. If things get awkward and Liam needs to leave, he can just do so.

 

They are playing video games, and there is no actual reason for Liam to sit on the floor. The flat is no longer a total mess; there is more than enough room for them both on the sofa. Liam is distracted, and fidgety and keeps on dying on the screen.

 

Louis pauses the game when he notices that Liam doesn’t pay him, or the game any attention. ”Okay, we can pretend nothing is going on. But you're not here mentally at all. Could as well be playing myself instead of watching you fail, over and over,” Louis says, apparently done waiting for Liam to tell him the reason he asked to come around to Louis'.

 

“Nothing is wrong. I've got a lot on my mind that's all,” Liam lies, but then he decides that he might as well ask Louis now; it will not get any easier to do it later. “Well, do you remember when I was here a few weeks ago? We were writing, and you told me to sit on the floor. Because of the mess, I couldn't fit on the couch.”

 

Louis nods. “Yeah, I remember.” He falls silent, waiting for Liam to continue. He has a curious look on his face, probably wondering why Liam’s bringing it up now, after all this time. It's been weeks.

 

“Like, do you think I could do it again?” Liam mumbles, feeling his cheeks heat up, skin a crimson pink for sure. “If it doesn't bother you, of course.”

 

“You are asking me if you can sit at my feet, and do nothing? Why?” Louis asks, with a perplexed look on his face. “Not that I mind. I just need to know why, babe.”

 

Liam is glad that Louis doesn't seem all too weirded out. Instead, he seems to be confused by Liam; something he stopped being ages ago. Everything about the conversation feels off to Liam. They shouldn't second guess themselves around each other, not anymore.

 

Telling Louis why isn't easy, Liam can hardly explain to himself why he wants it, telling Louis is, therefore, almost impossible. “I just do. I can't say why, Lou. But I think it helped, I think it made me _calmer_.”

 

“I could tell it did something to you. You were kind of being a brat before. Just didn't think you would want to talk about it,” Louis says.

 

Liam wants to reach out and touch Louis, he wants to rub that confused wrinkle between his eyebrows until it goes away. Desperate to get his way, Liam pleads, “Well, I don't want to talk. Just need to do it. Can I?”

 

Louis nods and he gives Liam a tiny smile. “Yeah, of course, you can. You want to do it here?”

 

Liam's heart beats faster, harder, in his chest. His hands feel clammy and his skin warm. Liam is not sure how to react now that he's gotten the answer he wanted.

 

But he nods, and tries to slide down from his position on the sofa. Though, his body feels weird, and his limbs won't quite cooperate with him. Clumsily, he manages to get down, close to Louis' feet, and tries to get as comfortable as possible on the soft carpet under him. As he wriggles around, feeling uneasy, he’s unable to stop thinking about what Louis must think of him now.

 

When he feels Louis' hand on his shoulder, he looks up, but doesn't say anything. Only waits to see if Louis is going to do something, or say something to make it any easier.

 

“Does it help when I touch you, and talk to you?” Louis asks, as always able to read Liam, even when Liam maybe doesn't always want him to be. “You need to calm down, Liam.”

 

Right now, Liam is relieved Louis can see right through him, as he's not sure how he would ask for it. You just don't ask your mate to stroke your hair. Nodding slowly, he leans forward to rest his head against Louis' knee.

 

As Louis starts to trace his face gently with one of his hands, Liam can feel himself go soft, his breath slowing down to match Louis'. He has no real grip on what Louis is telling him, but tries to answer him as good as he can, his voice coming out slow and tired as he does. Liam feels so different now, the wrongness in his body slowly seeping away.

 

He has no clue of how long he spends on his knees; time doesn't seem important to Liam when he's got Louis taking care of him. Everything is soft and slow in his head, and the only thing that matters to him is Louis' voice and Louis' hand in his hair.

 

After some time, Louis pulls him up on the sofa, moving him around until he's curled up against Louis. With Liam resting his head on Louis' shoulder while Louis continues stroking his hair. “We can keep doing this if you need it?”Louis asks him, softly.

 

Liam hums, breathing slowly Louis' neck.

 

– – –

 

It quickly becomes a part of their routine. Something they do when they are alone. Liam loses grip of how often it happens, but he doesn't ask Louis for it any longer.

 

He doesn't need to; Louis has started to keep track of him, putting him down on his knees, whenever he thinks Liam needs it. Sometimes he continues on with whatever he is doing after Liam is sitting by his feet, no matter if he is eating or writing, but he never ignores Liam completely. He's always talking to him or touching him; it makes him feel grounded, and calm.

 

Liam likes it more when he doesn't have to ask. When Louis gently pushes him down on the floor when they are alone, his hands are never leaving Liam when he sits by Louis' feet.

 

The fact that Louis more or less always is close to him at the moment helps.

 

Liam doesn't want to think about what they will do when they can't be. It annoys Liam greatly when they aren't alone, when he doesn't get to have Louis to himself. But Louis seems to see his frustration and starts to help getting them alone when it gets too much for Liam. Which means they leave in the middle of meeting, taking breaks to be alone at the most inconvenient times, causing even the boys to look weirdly at them.

 

It's harder when they aren't by themselves at home, when they can't spend time just resting pressed up together afterwards. Instead of the two of them being cuddled close on the sofa or in bed, Louis just hugs him close afterwards, telling Liam how good he was before they go back to whatever meeting the snuck out from.

 

Zayn especially has noticed that there is something different between Liam and Louis. He often asks Liam if there is anything going on between them, and Liam has by now figured out that they all think he and Louis are fucking. Liam rather lets him think _that_ than telling them what's actually going on.

 

It's too private to talk about. Even with his boys.

 

Liam knows he's acting strange, changing moods so drastically whenever he and Louis sneak off. But it works for them, whatever it is they have going on. And Liam is thankful that Louis is such a good mate, helping Liam with this thing.

 

He's not sure who he would ask otherwise. If he even would _want_ to with someone else.

 

Liam is at the studio with Louis, and luckily they are on their own. He has been feeling uneasy, and he knows he's thinking too much again. He's felt Louis' eyes on him several times during the day when he'd done stupid things he knows he shouldn't do. But there had been no time to do anything, they are on a tight schedule and Liam knows they can't afford to take extra breaks right now.

 

When they finally are alone, Louis nods at the floor by his feet. Then he adds, "You know you need it.”

 

The thing is; it's hard for Liam to let himself relax today. He gets even more tense when Louis tells him to get down on the floor. Lately, Liam has started to have these thoughts when he jerks off, hasn't been able to stop thinking about being on his knees for Louis in a totally different way, pleasing Louis with his mouth, and doing things he never thought about before. Liam feels so bad about getting off on it, tries to think about the last girl he fucked instead, but he's been unable to stop thinking about it after the thought first popped up in his head.

 

It hadn't taken much for him to come, when he finally let himself think about it.

 

Now, he feels awkward around Louis, and the restlessness in his body is stronger than ever. He has a thrumming energy under his skin that makes it impossible for him to concentrate. Worse is that he also feels the need to get off again, but he can't seem to shake Louis, he's always close by. Liam's desperate enough to think about getting himself off in the toilets, but that would be too embarrassing to explain if anyone ever found out.

 

Liam will have to wait.

 

He's a bit afraid of what will happen if he does what Louis asks of him. How his body will react. _What Louis would say if he found out what Liam thinks about?_

 

“Didn't I tell you to get down, Liam,” Louis says, looking surprised that Liam hasn't moved an inch. “You can tell me if you don't want to, but otherwise I want you to do what I say when I say. Is that okay, babe?”

 

He wants to, but that is also the biggest problem. He can't say no to Louis, though, not right now. _What if he doesn't get to do it again?_ Liam needs this now.

 

Instead of answering Louis' question he moves to get on his knees. The arousal running in his veins becomes secondary when he's down on his knees, the calm feeling taking overhand of his body as soon as Louis' hand is in his hair. He's not thinking about if he should tell Louis, not thinking about anything at all, really.

 

– – –

 

They are having a night in, the five of them hanging out in Louis' living room. There have been quite a bit of drinking, but right now everyone is quiet. Well, as quiet as they get when it's all of them together.

 

Liam sits next to Louis on the sofa, their legs pressed together, and Liam is resting his head on Louis' shoulder. It's familiar, a position they often find themselves in these days. Everything is back to normal between them, even when Louis doesn't know _why_ Liam started acting weird in the first place. Liam can finally relax around him again, not always thinking about what's going on in his head as he wanks.

 

But right now, Liam can't relax, not fully, his mind is running wild, and he can feel himself twitching. Louis puts his hand on Liam's leg, pressing down, as if to get him to sit still. When it doesn't help, he leans close to Liam and asks. “You need to do it, right now?” Louis' hot breath against the soft skin behind Liam's ear, is _so_ not helping the loud thrum in his body to go away.

 

Liam knows what Louis is asking him, knows he wonders if Liam wants to get on his knees. He wants to, but they are not alone. Louis must be much more drunk than Liam thought if he's asking it in front of the others. Still, Liam _wants_ to, and he can feel himself moving before he can think it through, sliding down to the floor. It's a move he has near perfected by now, even when he is slightly drunk as now, and his body doesn't exactly want to do what Liam wants it to.

 

Before his knees even hit the floor, he can hear Harry's confused. “Hey, what are you doing?”'

 

Liam knows he probably should answer Harry, but he doesn't have any focus on anything but Louis, as he's resting his head against Louis and closing his eyes. Louis shushes Harry as he gently massages Liam's scalp.

 

“It's a good question, maybe you should answer it Louis?” Zayn asks, clearly not giving a fuck about if Louis thinks they should be silent.

 

“You shouldn't bother Liam. He needs some quiet, can't you give him that,” Louis says,”'If you can't do that maybe you should leave.”

 

Louis' tone harder, sharper than Liam likes. Raising his head, he gazes up at Louis, just to make sure that he isn't angry. Liam's not happy to see that Louis' focus isn't on him, not totally. “Leave them be, Louis.”

 

When he thinks about it, Liam doesn't really care about them being there. The three of them are a part of him a much as Louis is; it feels okay for them to be a part of this too.

 

They stay silent after that, and Liam bears them no mind. He doesn't even notice when they leave, but they must do sometime after the film is over because suddenly it's just him and Louis there.

 

As Louis bundles him up in his arms to drag him off to bed, Liam wonders why he didn't notice when they left. He doesn't think about it for long, not when Louis pulls him down on the bed and curls up around him.

 

– – –

 

Zayn corners Liam as soon as he gets him alone.

 

Liam has seen the looks they all have been giving him and Louis, and he isn't surprised that they acted as soon as he and Louis were separated. As far as Liam can tell, Harry and Niall have Louis in one room, doing their part. And here he is, with Zayn, obviously in for a chat about what happened at Louis' apartment the other day. The three of them for sure talked about what to say to him and Louis, had their own meeting about Louis and him.

 

It feels weird to Liam that they would do that.

 

He and Louis haven't talked about what happened the next morning, only pulled themselves out of bed and made breakfast. Now, when Liam stands in front of Zayn, he feels like maybe he and Louis should have talked about it. Thinking back it had been stupid to think that they could carry on a before, now that Zayn, Niall and Harry know about it.

 

“Liam, we need to talk. You know that, right?” Zayn asks, softly. He waits for Liam to nod, then he continues. “I've asked before, and I know that you said no then. But are you two, you know, fucking?”

 

“No. Like, why would you think that?” Liam doesn't understand why they keep asking him if they do. They don't. Louis doesn't want anything like _that_ for him.

 

“You're always together, Liam. Even more than before, and he constantly touches you. And we can not forget what happened at his place,” Zayn says, and he's right. Of course, he is, but that doesn't mean he and Louis are anything more than friends.

 

They all touch each other. All the time.

 

“Well, we don't! Okay?” Liam can feel himself starting to get irritated. _Why do they have to question what is working for him and Louis?_

 

Trying to calm himself down Liam tells himself that they can't know. That it is for Liam's sake they are asking. They haven't been there before.

 

“Do you have any idea what you two are doing? Have you talked about it?” Zayn asks.

 

They haven't talked about what it means for them. When Liam himself still can't say why he wants it, it gets difficult to talk about it with someone else. And he didn't think they needed to, everything was working fine. “Well, no. But it helped the first time we did it. Like, we didn't mean for it to happen, it just did. So, we've been doing it for a while, and I like it,” Liam admits, blushing so hard his cheeks feel like they're on fire. “Louis is a good mate to help me.”

 

“And by _it_ , you mean you on your knees for him?” Zayn asks, voice soft and careful. As if he doesn't want to scare Liam, and make him not want to talk.

 

Liam nods before he gets distracted by the sounds coming from the other room. He can hear Louis' loud voice even with the closed door between them, and it doesn't seem like the chat he has with Niall and Harry is going all that good. Liam tries to not pay too much attention to him, not when Zayn is still looking at him as if he doesn't understand Liam.

 

Zayn's never been confused by him before.

 

“What the fuck did you just say, Niall?” Louis shouts, voice so loud Liam can't ignore it any longer. “There is nothing _wrong_ with Liam, or what we chose to do together.'”

 

Liam stands stock-still as Louis walks out out of the room, slamming the door after himself, muttering that, “he can't be near them right now”.

 

As Niall and Harry come out of the room to join him and Zayn, Liam wonders what happened. What they said to Louis to make him so angry? He's so shocked he doesn't say anything, just stands there, staring after Louis.

 

“What did you just say to Louis?” Zayn asks a shamefaced Niall. He doesn't seem pleased with Niall or Harry. It's something Liam can relate to, them making Louis upset makes him feel bad.

 

All of this mess is because of him.

 

“I only tried to tell him what we agreed on. That what they are doing maybe isn't something mates do, as he said it was,” Niall tries to explain himself. “But he wouldn't listen, apparently he thought I said it wasn't _normal_. I never meant for him to think that.”

 

“He's right, we didn't say that. Liam, we don't think there is something wrong with you or with Lou. Of course we don't.” Harry pouts, looking at him with sad eyes that pleads him to understand.

 

“Then maybe you should call him and see if he agrees to listen to you idiots,” Zayn tells them. “Me and Liam aren't finished with our talk.”

 

Niall and Harry hug him as they go, talking among themselves about what to do about Louis.

 

Zayn takes his hand, leading Liam to the sofa. He pulls him into a cuddle as soon as they've settled down together.

 

“There is nothing wrong with you, babe,” Zayn says, comforting Liam, who is having a hard time breathing, his chest feels too tight, and he wants Louis there to help him. But he isn't there to do it, only Zayn is there to hold him now .

 

As they sit in silence, Liam realises that he doesn't want to get on his knees for Zayn. That he doesn't want to do it for anyone but Louis. “I don't know what I'm doing. Why I want the things I do,” Liam mumbles. “But I know that I wanted to, with Louis.”

 

“Even if it felt really private, we were there, and we could tell. Do you know anything about submission and dominance? Maybe heard about it somewhere?” Zayn asks.

 

“What? Like in porn?” Liam feels confused, not at all understanding what that has to do with anything they're talking about. _What it has to do with him at all?_

 

“No. Well, yeah. Maybe a bit like in porn. But I don't think it has to be that way. Maybe it doesn't even have to be about sex,” Zayn says. When Liam doesn't say anything, he continues with his explanation. “Maybe it's a bit like that, with you and Lou?”

 

“But we don't have sex, I told you that,” Liam says, not mentioning that he has thought about it. Not at the same time as he been on his knees for Louis maybe, but by himself as he gets himself off. Maybe Zayn is a little bit right. At least about Liam, Louis has for sure never thought about Liam like that.

 

“I don't think it has to be, babe. Niall might be totally wrong, maybe you can be just mates and still do what you do. Maybe it's more about control for you, being able to let go for a bit? And let Louis take care of you. You should think about what you want from him, and you should talk to Louis, see what he wants,” Zayn says. “You can always talk to me if you need to. _Whenever_ you need to.”

 

“I know, but I thought I was handling it,” Liam says. Then he stays silent and lets Zayn cuddle him, until he feels a tiny bit better about the mess in his head.

 

When Zayn leaves, Louis still hasn't come back home.

 

Liam is at his apartment, waiting for him several hours later. He realises Louis probably doesn't want to talk to him. That it must be the reason he doesn't come home. But he doesn't want to give up the hope of him coming home. For him to come back to Liam.

 

Louis surely didn't like what Niall and Harry told him. Or maybe he has just changed his mind, and started to think that it's _too_ weird, what he and Louis does. Maybe used to do. Liam has no idea what to do if that is the case.

 

Liam sleeps in Louis bed, still waiting to see if he gets back home. He doesn't bother making the bed in one of the guest rooms, he has been sleeping with Louis in his bed several times before. More so than ever the last few weeks, with everything going on between them.

 

But when Louis still isn't home when he wakes up the next day, Liam decides to leave. He can take a hint, and if Louis doesn't want to talk to him, and it's quite obvious he doesn't, then Liam will leave. He tells Louis just that in a text, not wanting him to feel like he can't come back to his own home because of Liam being there.

 

– – –

 

As he's on his way home, Liam comes to the conclusion that he'll need to know more about what Zayn had talked about. Even if Louis isn't interested in doing anything with Liam anymore, it's good for him to know, to be able to process the things running through his head right now.

 

Nothing feels quite right to him, not when Louis still hasn't answered his text.

 

Zayn can be completely wrong. He usually isn't, but he can be. So Liam needs to think about what he wants, for himself and Louis. For the who of them together.

 

His searches on the Internet lead him to porn sites, and Liam quickly realises that it turns him on, what he finds. Well, most of it does. Some things make him cringe and close the page as fast as possible. But he gets off on picturing himself in the position of the persons on the screen, imagine what it would feel like to be the one being that vulnerable. He finds that he likes the thought of it hurting, just a little bit, thrilling. It makes him come that much harder, as he gets himself off quick, needy and desperate to come.

 

He feels confused about a lot of things. But at least a has an idea now, about what he likes. Or at least likes the thought of doing. He also knows that it's something he would like to try with Louis. The only problem is that Louis isn’t talking to him, and there is no way Liam can figure this out all by himself.

 

– – –

 

As he heads to bed, later that night, he still hasn't heard anything back from Louis. His calls and texts have been ignored all day. Liam knows Louis can't ignore him forever; they are on a schedule, after all, and will be back on set in a week. He still wishes Louis would call him back.

 

They are supposed to be friends; he can't understand why Louis won't talk to him, nothing will be better if they don't talk.

 

Absentmindedly, he traces his fingers on the sensitive skin of his stomach, remembering bits and pieces from the porn he watched earlier. His dick is quickly getting hard in his joggers, and he gives up on holding off, putting his hand down his pants. It doesn't take him long to figure out that he can't stop thinking about Louis; his mind filled with images of Louis' hands and his mouth.

 

Most of all, he can't stop thinking about him holding Liam down, digging his nails into Liam's skin, leaving marks on him.

 

– – –.

 

Afterwards, Liam feels a bit bad about thinking that way about his mate, when Louis has no idea about it. But Louis won't talk to him. What Louis doesn't know won't hurt him, Liam figures, even if Liam might blush a little bit more than usual the next time sees him.

 

– – –

 

Two days later, Liam still hasn't heard anything back from Louis. It hurts to being ignored, but he understands. Louis has a lot to think about as well, he just wishes they could at least talk to each other. Liam just wants his friend back, even if Louis doesn't want anything to do with what he and Liam had been up to before, with Liam kneeling for him.

 

Feeling anxious, and tense in a way he hasn't been for days, he decides to call one of the other boys instead. Liam needs to talk to somebody, and if Louis can't be that person, someone else has to help him get his mind straight.

 

Harry seems like a good person to talk to about it; he's open-minded and he never judges Liam for his thought or decisions. Not that Niall or Zayn ever done that, but Harry's easy.

 

As he calls Harry, asking him to come over, he is told, “Later, yeah? Have some things to sort first.”

 

Liam is sure that the _things_ Harry refers to, actually is Louis. And he's happy that Louis is talking to someone, even if it's not him. This all must be just a big deal for Louis as it is for Liam. If not bigger, with the responsibility he without knowing had put on Louis.

 

– – –

 

When Harry arrives, his arms are full of bags. As always when someone he loves needs his support he feeds them, filling them up both with love and food. Always so much food, there is. At least Liam knows he won't be hungry.

 

He sits in silence as Harry cooks for him, telling Liam long, rambling stories. Stories about anything, and nothing at all. It's not what Liam really wants to talk about.

 

“Have you talked to Louis?” he asks, when they sit by the table. He’s just poking at the food on his plate, too nervous to eat, even though Harry keeps giving him these sad glances.

 

“Yeah, I have,” Harry says gently. “And he is all right. He has a lot to think about. Like I imagine you also have.”

 

Liam puts down the fork, gives up on trying to eat. “Like, I don't understand why he won't talk to me. He is supposed to be my mate,” Liam mumbles.

 

“It's a bit scary, I think. For him to not know what to do. But he will come around, Liam,” Harry says, sounding sure of it. “You just have to wait for him. But I think we should talk about you instead. Did Zayn tell you to do research?”

 

Liam blushes, his whole face hot, as he remembers what kind of research he did, and the thoughts he can't stop having about Louis ever since then.

 

“Oh, you did have some fun?' Harry grins, dirty as anything. Liam wonders when all of his bandmates came to be able to read him like an open book.

 

“Er, might have done,” Liam says, since there is no use trying to lie about it. “I've realised some things. That I like certain things I've never even thought about before.”

 

“That's good, Liam,” Harry says gently, coaxing him to continue talking.

 

“But I want them with Louis. Not sure what to do about that, to be honest. I haven't even thought about being with boys before. And now I want all these strange things,” Liam admits out loud for the first time. It wasn’t as hard as he thought it would be.

 

“Nothing strange about it,” Harry looks like he wants to roll his eyes, but he doesn't. “And it's good you are willing to admit it. You are making progress, babe.” The tone he says it with, gives Liam a clue about that it might not be as easy to get Louis to talk. For him to make progress.

 

They don't talk more about Louis. Instead, Harry tells him about the research he also had done, not by surfing the Internet for porn but opting for reading actual facts.

 

Harry tells Liam things he had no idea about, words he never really heard before even. Teaches him words like safe words, negotiation – a word he's heard, just not in the way Harry talks about it – and subspace. He's grateful that Harry is such a good mate, but he wishes that Louis could be there to talk to him instead.

 

He wishes for a lot of things when it comes to Louis, it seems.

 

– – –

 

Liam isn't expecting anyone. And when the doorbell rings, he startles, deep in thought because of everything going on. Careful like he has to be these days, he answers the call; he never knows if the person calling to get up is someone he doesn't know, someone who shouldn't be there.

 

The voice is tinny and sharp through the speakers, but Louis' voice is clearly recognizable. “Let me up, Liam. We need to talk.”

 

As soon as Louis is through the door he pulls Liam into a tight hug, one so hard Liam almost gets the wind knocked out of him. But Liam holds on with everything he has, just breathing in the smell of Louis. Liam has missed Louis _so_ much, and now that he’s there, Liam can finally breathe properly again.

 

The last few days have been hard on Liam. He hasn't been able to sleep, or to eat. Not even think about anything but Louis, it feels like.

 

“I've been a right shit to you,” Louis says softly. “Shouldn't have been avoiding you, I just didn't know what to think” Louis' face is pressed against Liam's neck, no space at all between them, as he refuses to let him out of the warm embrace.

 

“I missed you,” Liam murmurs, pressing closer to Louis, if it's even possible. He makes himself as tiny as possible to fit close to Louis' smaller body.

 

“Have the boys been bothering you too? Asking you stupid questions about me?” Louis asks.

 

They haven't been bothering Liam, but they have been asking him loads of things. Though, mostly it has been about Liam and his feelings, not so much about Louis. “Well, yeah. But I think they needed to. We haven't been talking. Or thinking, have we?”

 

“No, maybe so,” Louis says. Then he, finally, pulls away from Liam. It’s a good thing – even if Liam misses his touch at once – considering that Liam rather not have a conversation about sex pressed up against Louis. “We should talk now, shouldn't we? Maybe start with the bit about you liking to be on your knees.”

 

“I do like it, you know that,” Liam says, trying to wave it off, still trying to avoid the conversation. Even though he's been preparing for this for days.

 

“Yeah, I do. Me and Zayn have been talking about what it means to you. Giving up control and letting me take care of you. But it's like mates, right? You don't want to fuck me, or is Zayn right and you do?” Louis has a small smile of his face, and he lets out a small laugh. Like it’s a joke. But Liam can see how nervous he really is, the way his eyes flick between Liam and the door.

 

“You're one of my best friends, Lou,” Liam says. “But, I wouldn't want to do it for anyone else.

 

“You didn't answer the question about wanting to fuck me. So -” Louis puts his hands down his pockets, as if to stop from fidgeting. -” do you?”

 

“It wasn't about sex, not when we were doing it," he mumbles, without having to lie. It's the truth.

 

Or at least, almost the truth. It was about so much more than sex. But maybe that was a part of it, too. Even before Liam realised it.

 

“I would lie if I said that I haven't thought about it. A bit,” Louis admits, looking sheepish. “But I told myself that it's totally normal. You know, usually when someone is on their knees for you, they end up sucking your dick. And you're fit, everybody can see that.”

 

“I think about it when I jerk off, sometimes,” Liam blurts out, his cheeks heating up as he says it. But he might as well get it all out there. “And I did some research,” he trails off, not sure how to say the rest.

 

“You watched porn, you mean,” Louis finishes his sentence, with a small, quite dirty smile.

 

Liam can feel his cheeks get even warmer, as he's unable to stop the blush from spreading. Well, Louis's not _wrong_ , is he? He doesn’t say anything to neither confirm or deny it.

 

“Maybe you should tell me.” What did your research teach you?” Louis asks, when he sees the way Liam blushes and avoids his eyes, unusually shy and awkward. Like Liam hasn’t been with Louis for a long, _long_ time.

 

“Like, maybe it wouldn't be wrong to try some things. Nothing too heavy, not like scarring or other things that really hurts. But I wouldn't mind trying, like, to get held down, or told what to do, and maybe some spanking,” Liam stops talking in the middle of his mental list, backtracking mentally when he realises that here he is, telling Louis everything about his sexual fantasies, things he wants to do with Louis. Without even asking him if it's something he also wants. Liam is _such_ an idiot sometimes. “It doesn't have to be with you, of course,” he adds.

 

Louis shakes his head. “I would be a bit miffed if I found out you went out and found someone else to do it with, Liam.”

 

“Yeah. It would be so bad for publicity if anyone found out about this.” Only the thought of what the press, and people on Twitter, would say about him makes his stomach hurt. It would be so _bad_. Also, Liam has no idea where to find someone like him, even if he wanted anyone else, but Louis.

 

“Not because of that, you stupid boy,” Louis says fondly, pushing him gently towards the living room with a hand on his lower back.

 

Liam has been too happy to finally talk to Louis, _and too distracted,_ to even think about inviting him in. They've been standing in the hallway the whole time, and Liam hasn't even noticed.

 

As they get to the sofa, Louis pulls Liam down, almost on top of himself. Liam can feel the heat spreading from Louis' thigh, skin warm against his own, with how closely they sit. He feels jittery and nervous all of the sudden – nervous in a way he's never been around Louis before – his hands sweating and his heart beating hard.

 

“I just mean, we are partners aren't we? Best friends and everything. I feels like I should help you with this considering it is sort of our thing now. Isn't it?” Louis says, making Liam's heart thud even harder. He never really thought he could have it all; that Louis would want it. “At least until you find someone else.”

 

Liam doesn't think he will find someone else he trusts enough to want to do it with, but he nods his agreement anyway.“You mean, sort of like fuck buddies?” he asks Louis, feeling the need to clarify what they are talking about, not wanting to misunderstand what Louis is allowing him to have.

 

Louis' fingers rub a slow pattern on the bare skin on Liam's arm lower arm, making him shiver and lean harder against Louis. “Something like that, yes.”

 

“I like that.” Liam's mouth feels dry, and he's to fight to get the words out. He's so glad that he can be close to Louis again, having missed him so much, but he's nervous.

 

“Do you think you want it now? It has been awhile since we last did it?” Louis asks, trying to sound calm, soothing. But the way he looks at Liam makes him feel eager, more so than ever.

 

Liam just nods, and Louis gently pushes him away, until he catches on and slides off the sofa, shuffling around until he's to his knees, arse resting on his shins. He pushes his face against Louis' knee, exactly like he used to do, but it doesn’t actually feel the same. Not totally.

 

He feels calmer already, knowing what is going to happen, what he is allowed to have.

 

Louis tilts his head up, makes Liam look him directly in the eyes before he starts talking. “We're going to do what we used to do. Just that today. Is that okay, love?” he asks. When Liam hums against Louis' palm, nuzzling against it before he nods, he continues. “This time love. Another time I might want your pretty mouth on me, sucking me off. Would that be okay? I have thought about it so many times the last days, jerking off thinking about it.”

 

Liam moans, feeling himself grow hard in his jeans. He wriggles around on his knees, trying to get closer to Louis, not caring all that much about if he's comfortable or not.

 

“You do like that, don't you?” Louis asks, sounding awed. “Can't wait, babe.”

 

Louis talks like he always has done, touching Liam gently as he feels himself get deeper into it, as everything but Louis' voice, and his hands disappear completely from his focus. He keeps telling Liam all this thing he wants to try, what he want to do with Liam, _to him,_ making him feel hot and most of all wanted.

 

Eventually, everything falls silent, Liam's heartbeat slow and his body loose, most of him by now resting sweet and soft against Louis' legs.

 

“You've been so _good_ , Liam. But it's enough now, let me get you up. And we will cuddle for a bit,” Louis tells him, pulling him up from the floor, and letting him lean against Louis' side. He puts an arms around Liam, touching him softly wherever he can reach, fingers shaking against him. “Felt good, didn't it?”

 

Neither is thoughts nor his mouth work quite the way he wants them to, but he mumbles a vague response to Louis. It seems to be enough to make him happy, because Louis keeps talking, just an endless stream of soft words flowing around Liam.

 

When he comes back to himself completely again, curled up with Louis' under a soft duvet, Liam wonders how he can be so lucky.

 

– – –

 

Their routine doesn’t change much at first. Not more than that Louis has started talking about sex more often than not, now. Sometimes, he teases Liam when they aren't even alone, by whispering dirty things in his ear when nobody else can hear.

 

Liam has to fight himself to not melt into Louis, or worse drop down to his knees, whenever it happens.

 

When they are alone, he tells Liam things he wants to do, gauging Liam's reactions. As if he tries to figure out what Liam wants from him. Nothing Louis has asked of him, so far, sound like something he doesn't want, so he just agrees with whatever Louis says.

 

It frustrates him to no end that nothing ever happens for real. But he doesn't want to push for something he hardly feels he actually deserves to have.

 

Right now, they are in the kitchen, and Louis is making himself a sandwich. He's probably making one for Liam, too, but Liam didn't listen all that well. Doesn't even care if he gets one of not. Liam has just been pushed down to his knees, and he should be happy with it, but he wants more tonight.

 

Hopefully, Louis won't say no to him.

 

Louis doesn't touch him right now, doesn't even pay him any attention. Liam decides to just just of the cliff, try and see if it works out. Shuffling around on the floor, he gets himself in between Louis' front and the cupboard. It's a tight fit, and he has to push at Louis' legs to get him to move a bit to make it work, but he manages.

 

When he looks up, Liam can see Louis' startled look, his eyes shining with confusion when he sees Liam where he didn’t put him, with his hands on Louis' waist. He must have been deep in thought, not noticing him when moving.

 

He takes a shaky breath, hands flexing against Louis' skin, hot through the fabric of his jeans. “I want to suck you off. So much. Can I?”

 

“Fuck. Yeah, of course.” Louis' voice wavers, but he puts both his hand on Liam's face; one hand behind just his ear, fingers splayed wide on his neck, and the other one rubs at Liam's lower lip. Louis pushes his fingertips in between Liam's lips, and he sucks them in greedily, moaning softly as he does. “Wait. Just wait a little bit, yeah? Can you do that love?”

 

Pulling back from Louis' fingers, he looks on as Louis starts to pull the zip of his jeans down; Liam feels almost transfixed by Louis' golden skin when he pushes both his jeans and pants down, the slight swell of his tummy and the v of his hips. Louis' cock is hard, not completely but well on its way; it should not surprise him, but it sort of does.

 

Liam's mouth waters when he sees it, something hot flushes through his body.

 

“Open your pretty little mouth, babe.” Louis' fingers touch his bottom lip, just a fleeting touch before the head of his cock replaces it. “I'm going to fuck you so good.”

 

Liam gasps for breath as he tries to breathe through his nose; he's surprised by how big Louis' cock feels in his mouth, pushing his lips apart wide as he slips a fraction deeper. He likes it, though. Likes how Louis' cock swells further in his mouth, cockhead slipping wet against his lips as Louis pulls back again.

 

“Look at that,” Louis murmurs, fingers sliding into the slightly longer hair on the top of Liam's head.

 

Liam has never had a dick in his mouth before, doesn't quite know what to do, but he tries to do what he knows he likes himself. He loves the reaction he gets from Louis as he hollows his cheeks and rubs his tongue along the thick vein running along the underside of Louis' cock, his hips stuttering deeper into Liam's mouth, and the tip bumping against the softness in the back of his throat before Louis regains full control again.

 

But Louis won't let him set the pace, holds him back when he tries to get more of Louis' dick into his mouth, keeping him in place while he thrusts into Liam's mouth, careful to not get too deep.

 

“You like it.” Louis sounds amazed, and Liam wants to nod but finds it difficult to do anything than letting Louis use his mouth.

 

Liam wants _more_. He wants Louis to stop treating him like he will break. He wants Louis to fuck his mouth like he’s teased Liam about for weeks. He gives the outside of Louis' thigh a sharp pinch, just to get his attention. He can't really anything while Louis' cock is in his mouth, needs him to pull out. Even when Liam rather he didn't.

 

Louis yelps, but pulls back at once, looking down at Liam with a small frown on his flushed face. “You want to stop, babe?” he asks, with a strangled voice.

 

“No.” Liam hates for it to stop. “I like it,” he says, smacking his lips together once. Liam can already taste Louis' in his mouth, the precome smearing wetly on the top of his mouth salty and a bit weird. His cheeks warm are warm, and it's not embarrassment that makes them so. He actually likes the heady feeling of Louis' dick in his mouth. He really likes the taste and how he makes Louis moan above him. “But, like, you don't have to be so nice to me. You said you were going to fuck my mouth. You promised.”

 

Louis looks wrecked, his eyes dark and intense, and Liam wants him so much.

 

“You’re so good, babe,” Louis praises him softly.

 

Liam nods, pride spreading in his body like a nice blanket. He wants to be good for Louis, wants him to come on his face – or in his mouth, Liam's not picky – right there in the kitchen.

 

Louis takes hold of Liam's chin again, guiding him back to his dick with a firm grip. They both moan as Louis' cock fucks into his mouth again, but Liam's noise gets choked off as Louis' gives him what he wants, not stopping when it gets hard for Liam to breath.

 

It doesn't take long after he's stopped holding himself back before Louis' thrusts become uneven. Each time he presses in, it's so much deeper. So much better, Liam thinks, mind hazy. And when Louis pulls out, he smears the head of his dick against Liam's lips, making him lick away the precome leaking heavily from the tip.

 

Liam's not sure who of them that makes the loudest noise, but he's pretty sure he does. His lips feel sore already, the side of his mouth stretched and used. Liam's never felt better; he's sure of it.

 

Liam's lightheaded, his limbs almost like jelly, and Louis has pushed him closer to the cupboard, his back and head leaning against it as Louis pushes into his mouth. It's probably to help keeping him up, but it does things to him, being so trapped in by Louis.

 

_Good things._

 

The first time Louis tells him that he's a _'good boy'_ , Liam's mind goes blank, and his cock jerks helplessly where it's straining hard against the tight fit of his jeans. He's more prepared for it, the next time Louis says it, but his body reacts the same even then.

 

“I'm almost there, love,” Louis groans, pausing with his cock deep in Liam's mouth. He's so wet, and Liam just knows his lips and chins are wet with it already, sloppy with saliva and precome. “Are you going to be a good boy for me and take it. Swallow for me?”

 

Liam tries to nod but is unable to because of the cock in his mouth; he begs as much as he can with his eyes, however. Blinking slowly, he feels tears wetting his cheek, adding to the mess on his face.

 

Though, it doesn’t matter, because Louis comes shortly after, pulling out from Liam's mouth, just as the first beads of come hit the back of his mouth. The loss of Louis' cock stretching him open, makes him whine and try to push forward against Louis' hold, not wanting it to be over. He's too weak, though, and he sags back against the cupboard as Louis wanks himself off with wet, short pulls, come sliding down Liam's face.

 

Liam knows he's loud, hears himself moaning and begging Louis for more, as Louis comes with wet, warm stripes on his lips, chin and neck. But he doesn't care about how loud he is.

 

Louis seems to be as shaky after his orgasm as Liam's felt since the first taste of Louis' cock, and his fingers slip out of Liam's hair as he lets out a long sigh. Liam almost crumples to the floor as Louis' grip releases him.

 

He wants Louis to touch him. Waits by his feet while Louis catches his breath. He could touch himself, press his hand flat against his cock, and come with a few rubs, but he hold off.

 

Coming down to sit next to him on the floor, Louis sucks a biting kiss on the side of Liam's neck, on skin already marked by his nails digging in before. He makes a pleased little sound that Liam echoes as he pulls away, gently stroking his hand through Liam's hair. Then he moves his hand to press it against Liam's erection.

 

“You want to get off?” Louis asks, mouth pressed close to his skin.

 

Liam nods, feeling himself slump harder against the cupboard. His hands shake, his whole body does, and he doesn't even try helping Louis to get his jeans open. He would only be in the way, Louis is doing just fine, popping each button open with ease.

 

Liam's body goes hotter, _needier_ , as soon as Louis' hand wraps around him. He tries to say _something_ , but Louis shushes him and starts to wank him off with slow strokes. The warm hand on his dick feels so good, but it's not enough to get him to come. The pressure of it, pulls him closer and closer to the edge, but Liam can't get himself there.

 

He needs something more.

 

“You are going to come now, love. Aren't you?” Louis murmurs, thumb swiping away the precome pooled at the tip.

 

Nodding along with Louis' words, he can feel himself letting go, his body locking up when he comes hard into Louis' hand and up on the t-shirt he's still in. He comes long and hard, shaking his way through the after-shocks.

 

“Fuck,” Louis blurts out, hand forgotten, _loose_ , around Liam's cock.

 

His head feels empty, everything soft and loose, and Liam just wants to lie there against Louis, feeling his warm breath on his own neck. For once, he doesn't have a care in the world. Not about anything.

 

But Louis has other plans for them and starts to pull Liam up from the floor, supporting him as he guides them into the bedroom. Liam's legs are still unsteady, as he tries to walk beside Louis. He's grateful for all the help he can get, counts on Louis being there for him.

 

As they get into the bedroom, Louis quickly takes the rest of their clothes off. Liam giggles to himself as Louis kneels by his feet, makes him lift one foot after the other so he can get out of his jeans and boxers. The pile on the floor, Liam couldn't care less about, not when he's got Louis' skin so close to him, naked and warm.

 

Liam's coaxed into the bed, Louis holding the covers up for him as he crawls in. Everything that touches him is cold, and most of all, it's not Louis.

 

When Louis, _finally_ , is next to him in bed, he pulls the covers up over them and bundles Liam up in his arms. The bed is soft, and Louis is warm against him, and Liam is slowly coming back to himself, his brain and body not as quiet any longer.

 

“It was good, yeah?” Louis asks, with a soft voice soft, as he squeezes his arms tighter around Liam.

 

It was so much better than good, but Liam has no energy to talk about it. He just nods and presses himself closer to Louis.

 

– – –

 

The next morning, Liam wakes up halfway underneath Louis, feeling warm and content.

 

He can't believe how good it had been. In a way, he never wants to leave the bed, but he _really_ needs to pee. He wriggles his way out from underneath Louis, not wanting to wake him up as he leaves him in alone the bed.

 

When Liam comes back into the bedroom, Louis is sitting up in bed, his hair rumpled from the pillow and he has a confused look on his face.

 

“Good morning,” Liam says, tentatively, unsure of what to do now. They had talked about having a friends with benefits sort of thing, and Liam has no experience with those – only ever having been in stable long term relationships and had a few one night stands between those.

 

_What is he supposed to do now? Should he get in the bed with Louis again, or should he not?_

 

“Why don't you come back to bed, Liam. It's way too early to be up,” Louis mumbles. “Bloody mornings.”

 

Well, it's nothing they haven't done before, cuddling in bed on a Sunday morning. And being fuck buddies must mean that they do the same as they have always done, just with added fucking, that is.

 

It makes sense to Liam.

 

As Liam lies down again, Louis turns to him and gives him a long searching look. “Was it too much, yesterday?” he asks, and since Louis _must_ know how much it affected Liam it confuses him a bit.

 

“No, I wanted it. You don't have to treat me like I'm going to break. I trust you, Lou.”

 

“It's a bit scary. Not knowing how far to push,” Louis confesses. “But I wanted to make you cry with it, wanted to ruin you a bit.”

 

“I wanted that too. Still want you to.” He blushes wildly as he says it, but it needs to be said. Liam doesn't want Louis to feel bad for wanting to do those things to him. Not when Liam's pretty certain Liam wants so much more than Louis ever could.

 

– – –

 

They don't treat each other differently when they are around other people. They don't go on dates or hold hands like couples do. Liam wants _that_ , but Liam has no idea how to ask for more from Louis, doesn't know if he even wants more from Liam. They do fuck, a lot even. And by now Louis isn't afraid of pushing it too far, so it's great. Liam should be happy with what he's got. Louis is so good at reading him, always knowing what he wants. Even when Liam himself can't say.

 

Liam still wants _more_.

 

They do work on getting through the list they made together, the list of things Liam wanted to try. Liam has marks all over his body now, telling stories about where Louis' hands and mouth have been.

 

It's not enough, not when he knows that Louis might be not in it for the long run. He’s already used to waking up next to Louis, and always looking for him first thing, no matter where they are.

 

When he thinks about it, he realises that they do more or less everything together as it is. Maybe it wouldn't be any different if they they were dating properly, but he wants to be able to tell the people close to him about him and Louis. And he wants Louis to want to do the same.

 

The boys know, of course they do. Harry just grins wide at them whenever Louis pulls him away; for a quick snog, or for a little bit more. Niall mostly laughs at them, and Zayn has taken up giving both of them talks about the importance of _talking_. He's probably hinting at something, Liam knows that, but he isn't sure what Zayn is on about.

 

Louis and he do talk now.

 

Also, he wants the security coming from being in a real relationship. Liam has to find a way to suss out if Louis wants more too; he doesn't want to ruin what they have if nothing good can come from it. It's better than nothing, having Louis this way.

 

It might be a terrible idea, but Liam figures if Louis gets jealous when Liam flirts with someone else, then he must want more too. After all, Liam would be terrible jealous if Louis decided to give his attention to someone not him.

 

– – –

 

He puts his plan into action the following day. There's no use in waiting.

 

Louis isn't there; it's better he isn't. He hopes it will get back to Louis, even though it's a private after-concert party, with people they know and trust. He's not entirely stupid, Liam knows there is a risk of it spreading wider, but he's willing to risk it for the cause.

 

It's first when he’s pushed up against a wall, with some random lad pressed up against him, he’s starting to regret his decision. But he can't back out now, it’s all too late. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the lad. Still, Liam feels no need to get down on his knees, or to please him. He just wishes Louis where there instead, pushing harder and leaving wet, biting kisses on his neck, marking him up in front of everybody.

 

Harry keeps hovering around them, giving Liam sad looks that makes his tummy hurt. Well, at least Liam can be sure about it getting back to Louis, when Harry is looking so betrayed and lost.

 

Liam's getting ready to push the bloke away from him – he has no intention of doing anything for real with him – when he freezes up, shock rushing through his body. Liam's never said anything about him being clever, but his might be one of the stupidest things he has done in ages, counting all the shit he's done while drunk off his arse.

 

The guy pressed up against him hasn't noticed, but Liam has. Louis is _there_ , when Liam had been sure about him going back to the hotel with Zayn. He's coming closer, looking furious, and worse than that, hurt.

 

“What the actual fuck, Liam?” Louis shouts, loud enough to overpower the music. Then he shakes his head and turns to walk away with fast steps, pushing himself past Harry to get away from Liam.

 

Liam stumbles out of the unfamiliar lad's hold, trying to see where Louis disappeared to. He can handle Louis being mad at him, but he never wants him to be sad because of something Liam has done. But Liam can't even try to explain, Louis is gone, not even in the same room.

 

When he finds Harry close to the exit, he asks, “Please, just tell me where he is?”

 

Harry just looks at him as if he is stupid, green eyes so full of disappointment that Liam wants to be ill. Needs to be ill. Then Harry shakes his head and walks away from Liam without answering.

 

He's right though; Liam is stupid. So, so stupid. He's also pretty sure this is what Zayn meant when he said they should be talking. Liam just wishes it didn't have to come to him stomping all over his own heart, and maybe Louis', for his to realise it.

 

Liam must try to make it better. Trying is what he does best, maybe he can make everything right again.

 

Liam figures Louis must have gone back to his hotel room. And if Liam is lucky, he might open the door to him, maybe even talk to him.

 

Standing outside of Louis' door, Liam wishes he knew what to say. He doesn't, because it all seems so idiotic now. He has no good excuse for what he did.

 

When Louis opens the door, he gives Liam a cold look before letting him in. Probably ready to yell and rip Liam a new one.

 

 _Not that I don't deserve it_ , Liam thinks. He might as well beg, and at least try to give Louis a reason to forgive him. “I'm _sorry_. I shouldn't have done that.”

 

“Well, we never said we wouldn't do it with other people. I've got no real reason to be mad at you,” Louis mutters, but he still looks and sounds as angry as before. He's not even trying to make Liam think he means it.

 

Liam closes the door behind him, staying close to it in case Louis wants him to leave. Louis might from the look on his face, and his arms crossed over his chest.

 

He might be a bit stupid, from time to time, but Liam knows that he needs Louis to forgive him. He's unbearably afraid of losing him, and most of all afraid of losing him as a friend. “I wanted us to be something more and was just trying to make you jealous,” he confesses, so ashamed he barely can look at Louis.

 

“You wanted us to _what_?” Louis wonders. “Are you actually dumb, Liam. You don't let other people rub all over you because of that.”

 

Liam wants to hide, doesn't want to deal with all these emotions overflowing his body; a mix of guilt, sadness, and a small amount of hope, too. “I know, it was stupid. I just didn't know if you wanted it too. Thought maybe I could figure it out, you know. From your reaction?”

 

“Did you figure it out, then?” Louis asks, his voice hard.

 

Taking one step closer at a time, stopping as if he thinks about walking the other way, Louis comes closer. He doesn't stop until he's got Liam pushed against the door, making him feel small, but not afraid.

 

He never has been afraid of Louis, only ever insecure about what's going on. “Yeah. Like, I didn't know how bad I wanted it to be you. I didn't want him to do the _things_ you do, Lou.”

 

“You didn't want to choke on his dick, love? Or get on your knees for him?” Louis whispers in his ear; it makes Liam shiver and bare his neck for Louis, cock stirring in his pants from just that. “You are _my_ good boy aren't you?”

 

Liam nods, quickly starting to feel keen. He wants to be good for Louis. Just for Louis.

 

“But you've been naughty, haven't you? Don't know if you deserve to get anything,” Louis murmurs. Nipping at the lobe of Liam's ear, he digs his fingers into the soft skin on Liam's hips, holding him in place, when Liam tries to push forward.

 

“ _Please_. I'm going to be good. Just for you, Lou,” Liam begs, trying to get closer to Louis. To get him to do something. To get him to do anything.

 

“No, you don't get to decide tonight. If you want to continue, it will be on my turns. Are you okay with that, love?” Louis moves his lips lower, teeth scraping at the sensitive skin on his neck. It's a slow tease, one that makes Liam groan and tilt his head further, wanting to give Louis better access.

 

Louis doesn't do anything more, only waits for Liam's answer.

 

“Yeah, okay,” Liam nods, squeezing his eyes shut as something hot tugs low in his tummy. The next word is whispered, low like it's a secret just for the two of them. “ _Anything_.”

 

“That's good,” Louis murmurs. Then he dips his head down to bite a pink mark just above Liam's collarbone, his breathing coming out in hot puffs against Liam's skin.

 

All of it together makes his cock swell fast in his jeans, makes him move restlessly to get more of what Louis can give him. _Will_ give him.

 

Liam leans harder against the door, noticing that Louis steps closer to him, mouth moving up his neck to put another love bite just above the first. His eyes flutter open when Louis fits a leg in between Liam's, rubbing up rough against the swell of his cock. “Oh, fuck.”

 

It effectively traps Liam against the door, pressing them together tighter as Louis lets him feel how hard he is, his cock pushing into Liam's hip. His hands curl into tight fists as Louis' drags his teeth up his neck, rough on the sensitive skin.

 

“If you are good, I'm going to fuck you,” Louis promises, rolling his hips against Liam's. “So hard, babe. But first we are going to have some fun.”

 

Liam nods mindlessly, loving the way Louis' tone dips lower as he says ' _fun_ '. As Louis moves away, just enough to work his hands up underneath Liam's shirt, Liam whines and reaches out to drag him back, but Louis tuts at him, shaking his head.

 

“But _Louis_ ,” Liam groans, pushing his lower lip out in a pout.

 

Louis grins, pushing forward to kiss Liam once, easily licking into his mouth like he's done so many times; it still feels new and exciting to Liam. “You just have to wait a little bit.”

 

Louis' hands are warm on his skin, and his nails a sharp sort of pain as he drags them up Liam's stomach, pushing his tank top up with his hands as he goes higher. Louis flicks his fingertips over Liam's nipples, pleased to see him whine and arch his back to get closer to Louis' hands.

 

“Think we're going to try and see if we can make you come like this.” Louis twists a nipple between his fingertips, waiting for Liam to open his eyes – he's not sure when he even closed them – and then he does it again, adding a small pull to the already horrible, lovely twist.

 

Liam bites his lower lip, squeezing his eyes shut again, thinking of how painfully good it will feel. How sore and pink his nipples will be. No matter how hard he bites, he can't stop the low, needy sound from escaping his mouth.

 

Louis bends down to blow wetly over the pink nub, tongue poking out to lick soothingly over first one, then the other. “Not today, though.”

 

Liam sinks into it, the wet heat of Louis' mouth on his skin, and the sharpness of his teeth. At one point, his eyes slip shut again, his head tipping back against the door.

 

Liam's pulled from the haze in his head, as Louis pinches the skin just below his ribs, a short, _hot_ flair of pain that makes his cock blurt out precome, soaking his pants further; he's so, _so_ wet, pants sticking to his skin. Blinking his eyes open slowly, he looks down to see Louis take one of his nipples between his teeth, biting gently before he pulls. When Louis pinches his other nipple between his fingertips, Liam groans and pushes himself against Louis, trying to get some friction against his dick.

 

Liam doesn't know how to react when the pressure on his dick lessens, Louis' angling his lower body away from him; his skin feels too hot, and not hot enough at the same time. “Please, Lou.”

 

Louis hums against his skin, switching to pressing soothing kisses on his skin. His nails dig in once more, just below the first half-moon shaped mark on his side, are as harsh and biting as before.

 

Liam feels over-heated, and he is so bloody hard, cock jerking against the tight fit of his jeans. He whines, twisting his fingers in Louis' hair until it looks like a birds nest around his fingers. He's so, so close, and he just needs a little bit more to make a mess in his jeans.

 

Louis pulls away far enough to smile at him, wide and dirty. "No, not until I say,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss on the sweat-slick skin just below Liam's collarbone. “You're going to come on my cock, babe.”

 

Liam shivers, fingers dropping from Louis' hair as Louis pulls away. He really wasn't holding on very hard, his fingers shaking with how much he wants. Louis seems satisfied with the state he has put Liam is, and he nods to himself, grinning like a cat who's got the cream, Liam thinks.

 

His eyes follow Louis' every move as he takes one more step back, putting enough distance between them to make a quick work of getting his clothes off. Louis wraps a loose hand around his own cock as Liam watches him, mouth watering with how much he needs to get his mouth on Louis' golden skin. When Liam's about to drop to his knees, lick the shiny tip of Louis' cock until he comes down Liam's throat, Louis steps forward and helps him out of his jeans, cock springing free as he pushes them down.

 

Liam shivers when Louis' soft hand bumps against his dick; he's so hard, almost ready to come already, but Louis hasn't told him it's okay. He will have to wait.

 

“You remember your word, right?” Louis pauses, ignoring Liam's cock in favour of stroking a careful finger down his cheek. He waits for Liam to nod, quick and easy. “Then you should get on the bed, love,” Louis says, “I want you on your hands and knees for me.”

 

Liam climbs on top of the bed, clumsy and slow as his limbs feel shaky, all of him jittery. Taking place on the bed as Louis ordered him to do, with his head is hanging low, to heavy to hold up, he waits. He can hear Louis moving behind him, so close he's almost brushing his skin. He's not, though, and it frustrates Liam.

 

Louis shushes him when he whines, high in the back of his throat, needing Louis hands on him. “You know I'm gonna take care of you. There's nothing for you to worry about.”

 

Liam mumbles out a sound that's meant to be words but is more a mix of letters, nothing anyone could even understand. Not even Louis, but he seems to get what Liam meant anyway, because he finally skims his hands up Liam's back, starting in the dip of his lower back.

 

Liam smiles, rocking his body back against Louis. He wants Louis' hands on his arse, fingers working him open. Instead, he gets Louis softly tracing his spine up slowly, knob after knob. Grumbling under his breath, Liam tries arching his back when Louis' fingertips slip lower, almost touching where he wants it the most. Not quite, though, because Louis only laughs and pushes his hand up Liam's back again.

 

Liam has no idea how long Louis keeps teasing him, but it feels like forever to him.

 

 _Finally_ , Louis seems to have had enough of driving him slowly mad. Pushing himself closer to Liam, Louis fits his dick between Liam's arsecheeks, fucking himself against him, his slippery cockhead snubbing against his hole on every upstroke. Liam's toes curl, and he moan wetly, trying to push back against Louis, but his body feels to soft for him to be anything but clumsy.

 

“Yeah, I _know_ ,” Louis soothes. He puts his hands on Liam's hips, steadying him, and his nails bite into his skin. Using his grip on Liam as he pulls back, he keeps Liam in his place as he tries to move with Louis when he starts to move back again. His fingertips are digging into Liam's skin, in a way that’s familiar. _Nice_ “Be still, love.”

 

Liam doesn't expect the first slap of Louis' palm against his arse; he moans huskily anyway, heat spreading in his stomach, cock slapping wet on his bare skin as it jumps hard. It doesn't matter that he almost face-plants into the bed as his arms are about to give out. “ _Fuck_ ,” he slurs, shifting restlessly on the bed.

 

Louis gives him no time to recover before he brings his hand down on Liam's other cheek, marking his pale bum with finger-shaped pink marks that Liam already longs so see. The sounds on his hand fill the room, along with Liam's cut-off moans and whines; sounds pushed out of Liam by Louis' clever hands.

 

His skin feels feverish hot, it's like everywhere Louis is touching him burn under his fingers. It's so good. Almost too good for his brain to comprehend. Distantly, he hears Louis counting the strikes, voice never wavering, but he doesn't really listen; his head is emptying from all thoughts, and his body trembles with the need to let go.

 

Liam never wants it to end.

 

“Last one, Li.” Louis waits a short moment, then he slaps the backside of Liam's thigh, pushing his fingers up the inside of his leg. So, so soft compared to the roughness of Louis' hand on his shortly before. Louis shushes him, fingers slipping a little bit higher, when he opens his mouth to protest. To tell him that he wants more.

 

Liam can hear himself moan shamelessly when Louis' thumb pushes against his hole, but he doesn't care. It's just Louis there to hear him, and Louis is safe.

 

“You've been so bloody good,” Louis murmurs, hand moving swiftly from Liam's leg to his lower back, pushing him down flat on the bed. Then he kisses the back of Liam's neck, skin hot and flushed pink.

 

Liam's hips push down against the bed without him meaning to move, dick sliding against the cool sheets. It's just, he _really_ loves it when Louis tells him that he's good.

 

“I'm going to fuck you,” Louis says, face pressed against his neck. “Soon, I promise.”

 

As Louis pushes the tip of his finger, wet and a bit cold with lube, against Liam's rim, Liam whines, a hysterical laugh quickly following the desperate sound. He tries to tilt his arse up, tries to get Louis deeper, faster. But Louis sinks into him ever so slowly, just keeps pushing his finger in little by little. Then pulling back to do the same again, only slipping a tiny bit deeper next time.

 

Louis keeps the slow pace, gently fingering Liam open. But with two fingers in, Louis seems to have had enough. Taking both his fingers out of Liam's arse and reaching for the lube again, he slicks himself up, making a mess both of the bed and himself in his haste. Then he fits himself closer to Liam, knees on either side of Liam's arse, rubbing his dick against Liam's skin, raw and sensitive from Louis' hand.

 

Louis is still teasing him, no matter how desperate Louis himself also must be. It's not a surprise, and Liam loves Louis for the little shit he can be. Liam wants to beg and plead for Louis to just get in him, but he knows his tongue probably wouldn't do quite what he wanted, even if he tried.

 

Luckily, it doesn't take long for Louis to, finally, give in and give Liam what he wants; Louis fucks his cock into Liam with a long, hard thrust, groaning as Liam's arse clutches hotly around him, moving back to get even closer to him when his hips are already flushed against Liam's arse.

 

Louis pauses bottomed out deep, his dick throbs inside of Liam. It's everything Liam can think about; how big Louis' cock is in him, how hot and hard. Everything else around him has gone fuzzy, and his mind is finally totally calm.

 

When Louis pulls out, he does so until it's just the tip of his cock holding Liam's open, fingers tracing his rim, pink and stretched around him. The rough drag of Louis' cock in him, when he starts fucking him with a hard, fast pace, makes him shiver and keen in the back of his throat. He's on the edge, but he's waiting for Louis.

 

Louis will tell Liam what to do. When to come.

 

Louis folds himself down over him, resting his weight on his elbows as he grinds into Liam. His breath comes out wet and hot against the back of Liam's neck, and he's so noisy; loud grunts mixing with Liam's whines and the wet slaps of his hips against Liam's arse. Louis is close. Liam knows he is, there's that telltale stutter of his hips against Liam's arse, and he's starting to lose his rhythm. Louis is almost there when he suddenly pulls out and sits back on Liam's thighs.

 

Taking his cock in his hand, Louis starts to wank himself off with quick flicks of his wrist, with Liam underneath him, arse clutching around nothing, wanting more. He's eagerly waiting for more as Louis moans and comes, all over his arse and lower back, painting his skin with hot, wet stripes of come.

 

“You are going to come now,” Louis mumbles, voice shaky. He falls to the side, laughing as he turns Liam over on his back.

 

Louis' small hand grips his dick, thumb rubbing over the head as he squeezes around it. The slide of his hand easy and nice. Wet from the precome leaking from Liam's slit, His whole body feels like it's on fire as he, _finally_ , comes. Liam trembles through it, unable to control his body, tears sliding down his cheeks.

 

Coming down slowly, Liam can feel himself shiver, cold and hot all over, both at the same time. He lets Louis move him around until he's on his side, with his back to Louis. He folds himself into Louis, as Louis hugs him close to his front, stroking his fingers over Liam's sweaty chest and stomach. He's sleepy and content as he lies there, letting Louis murmur soft words into his skin.

 

He doesn't have the energy to say anything back. It doesn't matter, though, because he can feel Louis smile against his neck.

 

He doesn't want to sleep. He wants to stay close to Louis. And maybe finally talk for real. Still, soon he can feel himself drift off to sleep.

 

– – –

 

When Liam wakes up, Louis is up already; he sits up in bed next to him, stroking his fingers idly through Liam's hair. He has a fond look on his face, and he hasn’t noticed that Liam is watching him. It doesn’t seem that way, at least.

 

“God morning,” he mumbles, reaching up to poke Louis in the chin, wanting Louis to pay closer attention to him.

 

He _always_ wants Louis' full attention.

 

“Morning, babe,” Louis says softly. “Think you and I have some things to discuss today, don't you think?”

 

 _Oh_ , Liam doesn't want to have to deal with _that_. Not yet. He tries to hide his face in the pillow, thinking about if he should pretend to fall asleep again.

 

“No, Liam. Don't try to hide. We have been messing things up.” Louis tilts his chin up, using gentle but persistent hands. When Liam smiles at him, sheepishly, Louis arches an eyebrow. “Time to talk, love.”

 

When Liam“What do you want to talk about?” He already knows what they need to talk about, but for some reason it's hard.

 

“It's quite obvious, don't you think?” Louis asks. “After your small performance yesterday. Which I'm still not too happy about.”

 

“I wanted to be able to tell my mum,” Liam says, trying to explain himself. But it only seems to make Louis even more confused, because he gapes down at Liam, mouth open.

 

“What?” Louis asks, after a long minute of them staring at each other.

 

Liam sighs, feeling a blush spread high on his cheekbones. “I didn't want to be your fuck buddy. I wanted to be able to tell my mum that we were dating.”

 

“And you thought it would be a good idea to go and rub yourself all over some other dude?” Louis sounds incredulous as if he can't believe he's hearing the words coming out of Liam's mouth correctly.

 

“I thought that if you became jealous it would mean you also wanted it. Didn't realise how stupid it was until I saw you. Or a little before, _really_. I was going to push him away, right before I saw you,” Liam rushes to say.

 

Louis nods, furiously. “I was so _jealous_.”

 

Liam hums, he does already know; it wasn't hard to read Louis when he just looked properly. He’s not sure what to say to explain himself better, so he doesn't say anything else about it. “So, can I? Call you my boyfriend, I mean?”

 

There's a nervous flutter in his stomach, even though he already has a feeling about what Louis will answer.

 

Louis smiles fondly as he bends down to press a light soft to Liam's cheek. “Of bloody course, stupid. I might have told my mum about you already,” Louis admits, looking sheepish.

 

“ _What_? But we weren't dating. We said _so_ , didn't we? Otherwise, it would mean that I cheated on you yesterday.” Liam feels panic spreading in his body; he can't believe what he almost did to Louis. To his best mate.

 

“No, but I wanted to. I might have told the boys too, “ Louis mumbles, which makes sense to Liam, considering the looks Harry had given him yesterday.

 

“I love you. Like, properly love you.”

 

Hearing those two words. Words that Louis said many times before, but not as sweet and private, makes his heart swell with fondness.

 

Liam pulls at Louis until he lies down next to Liam, making it possible for him to lay his head on Louis' chest. “I love you too. Like, so much. You have no idea.” He presses as close as he can, feeling Louis' heartbeat tud slowly under his cheek.

 

“Oh, I think I have an idea,” Louis ruffles his hair. “Since I love you, too.”

 

– – –

 

To say that the boys tease Liam about his stupidity, is an understatement. But Liam feels like he deserves it. _That_ and more, probably.

 

“You fuckers can bugger off,” Louis laughs, smirking. “He’s been put in his place. Got himself a little punishment, didn’t he.”

 

Niall howls with laughter when Zayn groans and says, “Too much information, Lou.”

 

Louis shrugs. “You did ask.” Then he turns to give a blushing and smiling Liam a kiss. The kiss quickly grows dirty, and Liam is sure that Louis gropes his arse a little bit more just to annoy the boys. Or maybe not, since Louis likes his arse quite a lot.

 

“We didn’t.” Zayn rolls his eyes, looking painfully fond. “We asked if you idiots had taken your heads out of your arses.”

 

“We did.” Liam agrees because they had been _bloody_ stupid before. And in reality, what Louis did to him, Liam would never consider to be a punishment.

 

To be punished would be not being allowed to keep Louis at all. Also, not to be able to call Louis his boyfriend.

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr post](http://pandadepanda.tumblr.com/post/117106330789/working-it-out-misslii-one-direction-band)


End file.
